The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author Chapter 12
After spending hours on the Internet checking self-publishing websites, we compiled a short list of five possibilities, which included Authorhouse, X-Libris and I-Universe.
As I was scrolling through the web pages, I found a page that read, “ don’t sign with Authorhouse until you read this”.
It turned out to be a page from the website of a publishing company called Dog Ear. They had a whole section of their website dedicated to comparing all of the packages of the top self-publishing companies side by side.
We found that each company offered multiple publishing programs from “bare bones” to “all the bells and whistles”.
The Dog Ear website compared the packages and prices of their various programs to that of their competitors. Just looking at the prices published on the various websites, it looked like Dog Ear was offering a pretty good deal.
Each website had a link to request more information and I sent my name and phone number to each company.
I soon received calls from each of them, eager to explain their services, programs and prices.
When they discovered I was not signing up immediately and that I was shopping several different publishers, I was informed that they were conducting a year-end close out (this was in September) and they could give me a special deal if I acted quickly. Imagine my surprise!
I soon started receiving e-mails detailing the “specials” and follow-up phone calls.
I have never been a hard-ass when it comes to buying something. I look at the product and the price and if it’s what I want and reasonable, I get it ---- if not, I don’t. But I soon found that if I shared with one publisher what I was offered by another, the deal became sweeter.
After a week or so of negotiations, I decided on Authorhouse. They are the largest company and offered the most for my money. I wound up with their most expensive, fully loaded package for $600 less than the website price.
The only company that would never negotiate the price was Dog Ear. Their price was the lowest in the beginning, but by the time negotiations were over, it was all about the same.
I saved EVERY e-mail, especially the last one that detailed all that was to be included at the final negotiated price.
One detail that is not included in any company’s package is the price they will charge you, the author, to purchase your own book for resale. Dog Ear was one that used their price as a selling point and I had negotiated a two cent per page plus $1.28 for the cover.
In my final pitch to Authorhouse, I said I would take their package if they would match that price. After several days, I received an e-mail confirming the price.
We had a deal.
It turned out that Authorhouse had a separate department for each phase of the process, selling the package, building the book, marketing, book orders, etc, and I discovered that in many cases the right hand was not aware of what the left hand was doing.
Thank God I saved all those e-mails with the details of our final negotiations.
They came in handy later on.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 11
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 11
Although we were discouraged by the lack of publishers who would pay us to publish our book, we were amazed by the vast horde that would take our money to publish.
How to decide?
We personally knew two other published authors, so why not pick their brains and learn from O.P.E., other people’s experience?
We met with our two friends on separate occasions. They were both supportive of our efforts and more than willing to share their publishing adventures and advice.
Although neither of these authors was self-published, both shared that while their books were selling well locally. They were not getting the national coverage they had hoped for.
They both cautioned that we should read any contract offers very carefully and be sure to retain the ownership of our manuscript.
We learned that even traditional publishers don’t necessarily offer all of the services a new author should have.
The publisher of one of our friends left the job of obtaining the copyright to the author. He applied and had been waiting two years for a response.
Not a happy story.
With their experiences in mind, we began searching the Internet websites of the self-publishing companies.
Knowing absolutely nothing about the publishing business, I had always assumed that once your book is ready for publication, your company will print the first edition, store multiple copies in a big warehouse and have them ready to ship when the orders come pouring in.
DUMMY!
What I found was that all self-publishing companies are P.O.D., print on demand.
What’s that?
In my limited experience, I pictured printing a book to be a long, laborious process.
In POD, apparently a single book can be printed and shipped in 72 hours.
Live and learn.
As I continued my research, I discovered why self-publishing companies are POD instead of printing multiple copies to warehouse ---- they don’t expect to sell any!
I also found that there was another name for the self-publishing companies --- vanity publishers.
Apparently, there are lots of folks out there who just want the thrill of seeing their work in print and don’t give a hoot if they sell anything.
Then there are those who publish poorly written and unedited manuscripts that are doomed to failure from the beginning.
But the message to the author is the same ---you pay the price, we’ll publish it.
Because this is the nature of the business, the self-published author is at the bottom of the food chain, the step-child of the publishing industry.
Unfortunately, all self-published authors, regardless of the quality of their work, carry this stigma.
You can’t submit to a mainline publisher without an agent and a legitimate agent won’t take you if you don’t have a track record.
So, you bite the bullet and self-publish, and like Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter, you are branded with the big “SP”.
Where is the justice in this?
Chapter 11
Although we were discouraged by the lack of publishers who would pay us to publish our book, we were amazed by the vast horde that would take our money to publish.
How to decide?
We personally knew two other published authors, so why not pick their brains and learn from O.P.E., other people’s experience?
We met with our two friends on separate occasions. They were both supportive of our efforts and more than willing to share their publishing adventures and advice.
Although neither of these authors was self-published, both shared that while their books were selling well locally. They were not getting the national coverage they had hoped for.
They both cautioned that we should read any contract offers very carefully and be sure to retain the ownership of our manuscript.
We learned that even traditional publishers don’t necessarily offer all of the services a new author should have.
The publisher of one of our friends left the job of obtaining the copyright to the author. He applied and had been waiting two years for a response.
Not a happy story.
With their experiences in mind, we began searching the Internet websites of the self-publishing companies.
Knowing absolutely nothing about the publishing business, I had always assumed that once your book is ready for publication, your company will print the first edition, store multiple copies in a big warehouse and have them ready to ship when the orders come pouring in.
DUMMY!
What I found was that all self-publishing companies are P.O.D., print on demand.
What’s that?
In my limited experience, I pictured printing a book to be a long, laborious process.
In POD, apparently a single book can be printed and shipped in 72 hours.
Live and learn.
As I continued my research, I discovered why self-publishing companies are POD instead of printing multiple copies to warehouse ---- they don’t expect to sell any!
I also found that there was another name for the self-publishing companies --- vanity publishers.
Apparently, there are lots of folks out there who just want the thrill of seeing their work in print and don’t give a hoot if they sell anything.
Then there are those who publish poorly written and unedited manuscripts that are doomed to failure from the beginning.
But the message to the author is the same ---you pay the price, we’ll publish it.
Because this is the nature of the business, the self-published author is at the bottom of the food chain, the step-child of the publishing industry.
Unfortunately, all self-published authors, regardless of the quality of their work, carry this stigma.
You can’t submit to a mainline publisher without an agent and a legitimate agent won’t take you if you don’t have a track record.
So, you bite the bullet and self-publish, and like Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter, you are branded with the big “SP”.
Where is the justice in this?
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 10
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 10
Our research so far left little doubt that we had the proverbial snowball’s chance in H--- to get picked up by a mainline publisher or represented by a legitimate literary agent.
Discouraged? Of course!
Whipped? Not by a long shot!
I’m sure the careers of many writers are nipped in the bud at this point.
Everyone dreams of being accepted by a publisher or agent. Naturally, we had visions of advances and royalties, travel and fame. But when those things didn’t come, the only other alternative we found to get ‘Lady Justice’ in print was to self-publish, and that takes hard cash.
Not everyone has the financial resources to self-publish, so I’m sure many great novels die at this point along with the dreams of their creators.
As we began to dig into the tangled web of self-publishing, we had some serious moments of soul searching. “Is it good enough?” “Is it worth the investment?” “Can we make it work?” “Can we afford it?”
Did we have doubts? You bet we did!
When my character, Walt, suffers a serious setback in his law enforcement career, his old friend and mentor, Professor Skinner offers this advice:
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with it’s twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won if he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you must not QUIT!
OK Professor, we won’t throw in the towel yet.
Let’s take some time and study the many companies who are eager to take my money to publish my book.
Sucker? Maybe. We’ll see.
Chapter 10
Our research so far left little doubt that we had the proverbial snowball’s chance in H--- to get picked up by a mainline publisher or represented by a legitimate literary agent.
Discouraged? Of course!
Whipped? Not by a long shot!
I’m sure the careers of many writers are nipped in the bud at this point.
Everyone dreams of being accepted by a publisher or agent. Naturally, we had visions of advances and royalties, travel and fame. But when those things didn’t come, the only other alternative we found to get ‘Lady Justice’ in print was to self-publish, and that takes hard cash.
Not everyone has the financial resources to self-publish, so I’m sure many great novels die at this point along with the dreams of their creators.
As we began to dig into the tangled web of self-publishing, we had some serious moments of soul searching. “Is it good enough?” “Is it worth the investment?” “Can we make it work?” “Can we afford it?”
Did we have doubts? You bet we did!
When my character, Walt, suffers a serious setback in his law enforcement career, his old friend and mentor, Professor Skinner offers this advice:
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with it’s twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won if he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst that you must not QUIT!
OK Professor, we won’t throw in the towel yet.
Let’s take some time and study the many companies who are eager to take my money to publish my book.
Sucker? Maybe. We’ll see.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 9
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 9
OK, so if your chances of winning the lottery are greater than being picked up by a publisher, what’s the next choice?
Research showed that publishers more readily accepted authors represented by an agent, so maybe I need an agent to promote my work.
It certainly made sense. Even the King of Rock-N-Roll, Elvis Presley spent two years playing small clubs and state fairs until he met Colonel Tom Parker. Within a year he became a household name and one of the most famous entertainers in American music.
I went back to the internet and started collecting names of literary agents.
As I perused their websites, it seemed that whoever constructed the publishers websites also worked for the agents.
Same song, second verse. “We do not accept new authors”. “Submissions by referral only”. “We only represent previously published authors”. Etc, etc, etc!
What’s wrong with this picture?
It’s a closed system! That’s what!
Publishers won’t look at unagented submissions and agents don’t want you unless you are already published. What an impossibly vicious circle!
The only way for a previously unpublished author to break into the inner circle is to be a famous personality.
Publishers are scrambling to print Sarah Palin. I entered a bookstore recently and there were four Sarah Palin books displayed right in the front of the store. She has booksigning dates all over the country and none of this is due to her literary skills, but to her celebrity status.
And I’ll bet there are literary masterpieces languishing at the bottom of some agent or publisher’s “slush pile”, or even worse, still in the “My Documents” section of some discouraged writer’s computer.
As my character, Walt, would say, “Where is the justice in this?”
Chapter 9
OK, so if your chances of winning the lottery are greater than being picked up by a publisher, what’s the next choice?
Research showed that publishers more readily accepted authors represented by an agent, so maybe I need an agent to promote my work.
It certainly made sense. Even the King of Rock-N-Roll, Elvis Presley spent two years playing small clubs and state fairs until he met Colonel Tom Parker. Within a year he became a household name and one of the most famous entertainers in American music.
I went back to the internet and started collecting names of literary agents.
As I perused their websites, it seemed that whoever constructed the publishers websites also worked for the agents.
Same song, second verse. “We do not accept new authors”. “Submissions by referral only”. “We only represent previously published authors”. Etc, etc, etc!
What’s wrong with this picture?
It’s a closed system! That’s what!
Publishers won’t look at unagented submissions and agents don’t want you unless you are already published. What an impossibly vicious circle!
The only way for a previously unpublished author to break into the inner circle is to be a famous personality.
Publishers are scrambling to print Sarah Palin. I entered a bookstore recently and there were four Sarah Palin books displayed right in the front of the store. She has booksigning dates all over the country and none of this is due to her literary skills, but to her celebrity status.
And I’ll bet there are literary masterpieces languishing at the bottom of some agent or publisher’s “slush pile”, or even worse, still in the “My Documents” section of some discouraged writer’s computer.
As my character, Walt, would say, “Where is the justice in this?”
Sunday, November 22, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 8
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 8
We were getting really excited as the story of Walt and Maggie filled page after page. With the new title in place, we actually began to consider how we were going to get the book into print.
Being new to the writing business, we knew absolutely nothing about publishing.
So where do you go to get information about something new? The internet, of course!
If you do a Google search on “How to publish a book”, a bazillion pages pop up in front of you.
So I would write as long as I could and study the internet when I couldn’t write anymore. Between sessions of editing, Peg would study as well.
After exhausting research, we concluded there were three ways to get ‘Lady Justice’ into print: to be picked up by a traditional publisher: to be marketed to publishers by an agent or to self-publish.
Up until now, everything had been fun. I loved writing and Peg loved previewing and editing. We laughed and talked and dreamed a lot.
Then, we got our first reality check.
In the real world of writing, the chances of a new, unknown author being accepted and promoted by a large established publisher are slim and none. And unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the manuscript.
Being an author is like any other practitioner of the arts, whether it’s music, dance or oil painting.
Peg and I love to watch ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ on TV. Each season, tens of thousands audition for the show but only twenty actually make it. Same thing with ‘American Idol’. But at least someone looks at their work.
Likewise, tens of thousands of new novels are written each year and according to statistics on the internet, less than 2% have any chance of success.
Not great odds.
I began collecting names of publishers and looking at their websites. What I found really put a damper on the whole writing business.
A large percentage of the companies had posted messages saying, “We are not currently accepting submissions”. Many others had the message, “No un-agented submissions accepted”.
Those companies accepting submissions typically said, “We respond to queries in 2-3 months, submitted manuscripts in 6-9 months, and, if accepted, publish within 2 years. 5000 annual submissions, 30 titles published”.
Sorry, I’m 66 years old. I’m afraid I can’t wait that long. I may be dead before you read my book!
Chapter 8
We were getting really excited as the story of Walt and Maggie filled page after page. With the new title in place, we actually began to consider how we were going to get the book into print.
Being new to the writing business, we knew absolutely nothing about publishing.
So where do you go to get information about something new? The internet, of course!
If you do a Google search on “How to publish a book”, a bazillion pages pop up in front of you.
So I would write as long as I could and study the internet when I couldn’t write anymore. Between sessions of editing, Peg would study as well.
After exhausting research, we concluded there were three ways to get ‘Lady Justice’ into print: to be picked up by a traditional publisher: to be marketed to publishers by an agent or to self-publish.
Up until now, everything had been fun. I loved writing and Peg loved previewing and editing. We laughed and talked and dreamed a lot.
Then, we got our first reality check.
In the real world of writing, the chances of a new, unknown author being accepted and promoted by a large established publisher are slim and none. And unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the manuscript.
Being an author is like any other practitioner of the arts, whether it’s music, dance or oil painting.
Peg and I love to watch ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ on TV. Each season, tens of thousands audition for the show but only twenty actually make it. Same thing with ‘American Idol’. But at least someone looks at their work.
Likewise, tens of thousands of new novels are written each year and according to statistics on the internet, less than 2% have any chance of success.
Not great odds.
I began collecting names of publishers and looking at their websites. What I found really put a damper on the whole writing business.
A large percentage of the companies had posted messages saying, “We are not currently accepting submissions”. Many others had the message, “No un-agented submissions accepted”.
Those companies accepting submissions typically said, “We respond to queries in 2-3 months, submitted manuscripts in 6-9 months, and, if accepted, publish within 2 years. 5000 annual submissions, 30 titles published”.
Sorry, I’m 66 years old. I’m afraid I can’t wait that long. I may be dead before you read my book!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 7
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 7
As the story line developed, and Walt was to head up a new division of senior citizens in the police department, the idea of a catchy acronym began to develop. Acronyms need to spell something, right? So I started to play around with various word combinations that would convey the nature of the new patrol and grab one’s attention.
Then, there it was, The City Retiree Action Patrol also known as C.R.A.P.!
It was one of those “Eureka! I’ve found it!” experiences, like Euripides in the bathtub.
I rushed into the kitchen to share my moment of inspiration with my wife. I handed the page to her and watched expectantly as she read the title. A big grin spread across her face. “I love it!” she said, and Lady Justice Takes a C.R.A.P. was born.
After the initial euphoria wore off, we began to examine the pros and cons of such an unusual title.
The main attraction was that you couldn’t miss it.
Every year thousands of new books are published. You walk into a bookstore and hundreds of titles are staring you in the face. We wanted something that would reach out from the shelf and grab you by the collar. Our title certainly did that.
The negative, of course, was the possibility that the title would be offensive to some. We did not want to convey the wrong impression. While my novel contains a few expletives and some adult humor, there is no blood and gore or gratuitous sex scenes. If it were a movie, it probably would be rated PG13.
We live in rural Missouri in what is known as the “Bible belt” and we are certainly sensitive to the mindset of our neighbors.
How offensive could it be?
On TV, one of the longest running family comedy shows is “Everybody Loves Raymond”. In almost every episode, the father, Frank, finds a reason to shout “HOLY CRAP!” In fact, on another TV show, this line was rated among the 25 funniest lines of all time.
We began counting the number of times we heard “Crap” on primetime TV were surprised at its frequent use.
So after much thought, we decided to go with it.
After the books were published, the results were amazing.
People either love the title or they hate it, but they can’t ignore it.
The vast majority smile, giggle or snicker just looking at the cover. That’s what we wanted.
Unfortunately, there are also those who roll their eyes and look away. That’s OK too. It’s a free country. You can’t please everyone.
Our title certainly gets attention. Later on we found maybe more than we wanted.
Chapter 7
As the story line developed, and Walt was to head up a new division of senior citizens in the police department, the idea of a catchy acronym began to develop. Acronyms need to spell something, right? So I started to play around with various word combinations that would convey the nature of the new patrol and grab one’s attention.
Then, there it was, The City Retiree Action Patrol also known as C.R.A.P.!
It was one of those “Eureka! I’ve found it!” experiences, like Euripides in the bathtub.
I rushed into the kitchen to share my moment of inspiration with my wife. I handed the page to her and watched expectantly as she read the title. A big grin spread across her face. “I love it!” she said, and Lady Justice Takes a C.R.A.P. was born.
After the initial euphoria wore off, we began to examine the pros and cons of such an unusual title.
The main attraction was that you couldn’t miss it.
Every year thousands of new books are published. You walk into a bookstore and hundreds of titles are staring you in the face. We wanted something that would reach out from the shelf and grab you by the collar. Our title certainly did that.
The negative, of course, was the possibility that the title would be offensive to some. We did not want to convey the wrong impression. While my novel contains a few expletives and some adult humor, there is no blood and gore or gratuitous sex scenes. If it were a movie, it probably would be rated PG13.
We live in rural Missouri in what is known as the “Bible belt” and we are certainly sensitive to the mindset of our neighbors.
How offensive could it be?
On TV, one of the longest running family comedy shows is “Everybody Loves Raymond”. In almost every episode, the father, Frank, finds a reason to shout “HOLY CRAP!” In fact, on another TV show, this line was rated among the 25 funniest lines of all time.
We began counting the number of times we heard “Crap” on primetime TV were surprised at its frequent use.
So after much thought, we decided to go with it.
After the books were published, the results were amazing.
People either love the title or they hate it, but they can’t ignore it.
The vast majority smile, giggle or snicker just looking at the cover. That’s what we wanted.
Unfortunately, there are also those who roll their eyes and look away. That’s OK too. It’s a free country. You can’t please everyone.
Our title certainly gets attention. Later on we found maybe more than we wanted.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 6
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 6
I have always been active and always had something in my life to challenge and excite me, but with retirement came boredom. This may sound dumb to some, but I can only fish so much.
Once I decided to write the book and made the commitment to my wife and myself, an amazing transformation occurred.
It was as if my brain, which had been idling on cruise control at 30 miles an hour, was suddenly switched into turbo and was blazing along at 90.
I have always had difficulty sitting still for long periods of time. In my real estate career, I worked extensively on the computer, but only in short bursts.
Once I began writing, I could not pry my butt off the chair. As the story line formed in my mind, I could not shut it off. It just kept flowing and flowing. I sat for hours at a time and Peg had to beg me to stop for food.
I would wake up in the middle of the night for a potty break and instead of going back to sleep, my imagination would kick in. I would pick up the story from where I left off and lay awake composing in my head. Then I would be afraid that if I went back to sleep, I would lose it, so I spent many 2-3 A.M. sessions, pecking away at the computer.
Soon this nocturnal intermission infected my wife as well. I would be lying in the dark, wide-awake, my brain churning away and I would hear “You awake?” from the other side of the bed. “I’ve got an idea for Walt.” Then we would both be up.
These middle-of-the-night sessions were not the only adjustments to my normal routine. I would typically sleep until 7:30, give or take a few minutes. I now awoke between 5:30 and 6:00 A.M. and couldn’t wait to get breakfast over with so I could start writing again.
Although my story seemed to flow freely most of the time, once in awhile I got stuck. I guess it’s called “writer’s block”. I would come to a point where the next sequence of events just wouldn’t come.
I found it was better to just walk away. I would get on my riding mower or tractor and mow for an hour or two and by the time I finished, I knew where I needed to go.
Many times I found that the reason for being stuck was that I was going in the wrong direction. I backed up and re-wrote the sequence and when I was on the right track, the words began flowing again.
What a process!
I absolutely loved writing. The creative juices began to flow and I got that warm fuzzy feeling as I saw my ideas come to life on the page.
It was even more satisfying to hear my wife giggle as she read the next chapter.
Chapter 6
I have always been active and always had something in my life to challenge and excite me, but with retirement came boredom. This may sound dumb to some, but I can only fish so much.
Once I decided to write the book and made the commitment to my wife and myself, an amazing transformation occurred.
It was as if my brain, which had been idling on cruise control at 30 miles an hour, was suddenly switched into turbo and was blazing along at 90.
I have always had difficulty sitting still for long periods of time. In my real estate career, I worked extensively on the computer, but only in short bursts.
Once I began writing, I could not pry my butt off the chair. As the story line formed in my mind, I could not shut it off. It just kept flowing and flowing. I sat for hours at a time and Peg had to beg me to stop for food.
I would wake up in the middle of the night for a potty break and instead of going back to sleep, my imagination would kick in. I would pick up the story from where I left off and lay awake composing in my head. Then I would be afraid that if I went back to sleep, I would lose it, so I spent many 2-3 A.M. sessions, pecking away at the computer.
Soon this nocturnal intermission infected my wife as well. I would be lying in the dark, wide-awake, my brain churning away and I would hear “You awake?” from the other side of the bed. “I’ve got an idea for Walt.” Then we would both be up.
These middle-of-the-night sessions were not the only adjustments to my normal routine. I would typically sleep until 7:30, give or take a few minutes. I now awoke between 5:30 and 6:00 A.M. and couldn’t wait to get breakfast over with so I could start writing again.
Although my story seemed to flow freely most of the time, once in awhile I got stuck. I guess it’s called “writer’s block”. I would come to a point where the next sequence of events just wouldn’t come.
I found it was better to just walk away. I would get on my riding mower or tractor and mow for an hour or two and by the time I finished, I knew where I needed to go.
Many times I found that the reason for being stuck was that I was going in the wrong direction. I backed up and re-wrote the sequence and when I was on the right track, the words began flowing again.
What a process!
I absolutely loved writing. The creative juices began to flow and I got that warm fuzzy feeling as I saw my ideas come to life on the page.
It was even more satisfying to hear my wife giggle as she read the next chapter.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 5
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 5
As I thought back over my life and analyzed my thoughts on justice, I realized that justice comes in all shapes and sizes and that one’s concept of justice, or injustice is a very subjective thing.
I decided to start back in my childhood years and see how my ideas of justice were molded and how they changed over the years.
I typed my first sentence. As the Professor tells Walt in the book, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step”. I had just taken mine.
It’s now confession time.
First, I have a Master’s Degree, but, sad to say, I’ve never taken a typing class. Yep, I’m a hunt-n-pecker. I typed the entire novel with the middle finger of my right hand. Well, that’s not entirely true. I can hit the shift key for capitalization with my left thumb. So for all of you out there who want to write but can’t type, jump right in.
Second, while I’ve done a lot of writing and speaking, I’ve never written for publication. I write a speech and no one sees it but me. Who cares about punctuation?
My wife, the editor does, that’s who!
I would peck out a few chapters at a time and submit them to Peg to approve or disprove. If they passed muster, Peg would re-type the chapters in her computer. Incidentally, she can type with all ten fingers.
My wife isn’t prone to use profanity, but as she set about polishing my work, I definitely heard muttering of a sordid nature coming from her side of the room.
In the Microsoft Word program, misspelled words are underlined in red and errors in syntax are underlined in green. My first pages looked like a Christmas tree had exploded on the screen: red and green everywhere.
We soon learned that if we were going to produce something readable, it was back to school. We searched and read article after article from the Internet on writing and punctuation. I would be pecking away and Peg would interrupt me, “You need to come read this.” So I did.
Fortunately, the final editing was her job, but I learned enough for the first draft to keep her mumbling to a minimum.
As the storyline progressed, I saw another main character emerge, Lady Justice. As Walt and his scrappy senior friends took on the various evildoers, I found the theme had developed into old-timers giving Lady Justice a helping hand, so a new title was born: “ Lady Justice, The Wrinkled Years”. Cute, Huh?
I liked it for awhile, but soon the title that made Peg double over with laughter was born.
Chapter 5
As I thought back over my life and analyzed my thoughts on justice, I realized that justice comes in all shapes and sizes and that one’s concept of justice, or injustice is a very subjective thing.
I decided to start back in my childhood years and see how my ideas of justice were molded and how they changed over the years.
I typed my first sentence. As the Professor tells Walt in the book, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step”. I had just taken mine.
It’s now confession time.
First, I have a Master’s Degree, but, sad to say, I’ve never taken a typing class. Yep, I’m a hunt-n-pecker. I typed the entire novel with the middle finger of my right hand. Well, that’s not entirely true. I can hit the shift key for capitalization with my left thumb. So for all of you out there who want to write but can’t type, jump right in.
Second, while I’ve done a lot of writing and speaking, I’ve never written for publication. I write a speech and no one sees it but me. Who cares about punctuation?
My wife, the editor does, that’s who!
I would peck out a few chapters at a time and submit them to Peg to approve or disprove. If they passed muster, Peg would re-type the chapters in her computer. Incidentally, she can type with all ten fingers.
My wife isn’t prone to use profanity, but as she set about polishing my work, I definitely heard muttering of a sordid nature coming from her side of the room.
In the Microsoft Word program, misspelled words are underlined in red and errors in syntax are underlined in green. My first pages looked like a Christmas tree had exploded on the screen: red and green everywhere.
We soon learned that if we were going to produce something readable, it was back to school. We searched and read article after article from the Internet on writing and punctuation. I would be pecking away and Peg would interrupt me, “You need to come read this.” So I did.
Fortunately, the final editing was her job, but I learned enough for the first draft to keep her mumbling to a minimum.
As the storyline progressed, I saw another main character emerge, Lady Justice. As Walt and his scrappy senior friends took on the various evildoers, I found the theme had developed into old-timers giving Lady Justice a helping hand, so a new title was born: “ Lady Justice, The Wrinkled Years”. Cute, Huh?
I liked it for awhile, but soon the title that made Peg double over with laughter was born.
Monday, November 9, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 4
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 4
I am ready to write!
As I began conceptualizing the main story line I wanted to present, I remembered again: “write what you know about”.
I know that many authors of crime and mystery novels have had a background in law enforcement or were attorneys or in other related fields. They have the first hand, inside information as to how the legal justice system works.
Me, not so much.
If I try to write a true-crime mystery, sophisticated readers would see through me in the first few paragraphs.
My slant on crime solving will be from Walt’s perspective as a retired realtor who is bored out of his mind, witnesses a mugging, and decides at the ripe old age of 65, that he wants to be a cop and give Lady Justice a hand.
All he knows about crime fighting is what he’s seen on TV: Dragnet, and Boston Blackie. I can do that!
My expertise is real estate. I have been doing it for 31 years and as Broker/Manager of a large RE/MAX office, I have the first hand, inside information as to how a mystery could work in the real estate world.
Along the way, I will dig into my huge bag of weird , funny stuff that has happened to me on my life’s journey and let Walt and his friends share the experiences with the reader.
A book has to have a title, doesn’t it? I sat for what seemed like hours trying to come up with the perfect title. I knew one theme of the book was seeking justice, so my first attempt at a title was “Justice For All”.
Fortunately, my wife, who is also my editor, reviewer and designer jumped on the internet and discovered that “Justice For All” was a play, a reform organization, and worst of all, the title of an album by the acid rock group, Metallica. There were thousands of internet pages for this title. I would be lost in the maze. Back to the drawing board.
Nothing came to mind, so I decided to set the title thing aside and wait for inspiration. I hoped that as the story developed, the perfect title would jump off the page.
Boy, did it ever!
Chapter 4
I am ready to write!
As I began conceptualizing the main story line I wanted to present, I remembered again: “write what you know about”.
I know that many authors of crime and mystery novels have had a background in law enforcement or were attorneys or in other related fields. They have the first hand, inside information as to how the legal justice system works.
Me, not so much.
If I try to write a true-crime mystery, sophisticated readers would see through me in the first few paragraphs.
My slant on crime solving will be from Walt’s perspective as a retired realtor who is bored out of his mind, witnesses a mugging, and decides at the ripe old age of 65, that he wants to be a cop and give Lady Justice a hand.
All he knows about crime fighting is what he’s seen on TV: Dragnet, and Boston Blackie. I can do that!
My expertise is real estate. I have been doing it for 31 years and as Broker/Manager of a large RE/MAX office, I have the first hand, inside information as to how a mystery could work in the real estate world.
Along the way, I will dig into my huge bag of weird , funny stuff that has happened to me on my life’s journey and let Walt and his friends share the experiences with the reader.
A book has to have a title, doesn’t it? I sat for what seemed like hours trying to come up with the perfect title. I knew one theme of the book was seeking justice, so my first attempt at a title was “Justice For All”.
Fortunately, my wife, who is also my editor, reviewer and designer jumped on the internet and discovered that “Justice For All” was a play, a reform organization, and worst of all, the title of an album by the acid rock group, Metallica. There were thousands of internet pages for this title. I would be lost in the maze. Back to the drawing board.
Nothing came to mind, so I decided to set the title thing aside and wait for inspiration. I hoped that as the story developed, the perfect title would jump off the page.
Boy, did it ever!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author - Chapter 3
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 3
I have my characters, Walt, Maggie, Mary, Willie and the Professor.
Now I need a plot, a storyline that will keep the reader involved from cover to cover.
I know I want to make people laugh.
The world is full of sadness and tragedy. When I read a novel, watch a TV show or go to the movies, I want my escape to make me feel good.
In real life, I always try to find the funny side of things and I believe there is an element of humor in almost everything that happens to us.
In my family there is a contest between my son’s father-in-law and me as to who does the goofiest things as we enter our dotage. I was briefly in second place when Jim left his teeth on the counter and a mouse ran off with them. I’m usually in first place if that tells you anything.
I also love mysteries. Along with funny stuff, I enjoy immersing myself in a good who-done-it that makes me think and reason.
In addition to hundreds of crime dramas on TV, I have read and enjoyed Michael Connelly’s Harry Bosch series and Robert Crais’ Elvis Cole series. Both are engaging mysteries with a touch of humor.
I am not into graphic blood and guts and I don’t need gratuitous sex scenes. For me, when I read a story I appreciate it when the author lets me fill in the blanks with my own imagination.
With these things in mind, it’s no coincidence that Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series is a favorite. They combine just the right amount of mystery and humor to keep me reading, laughing and thinking.
So now I know the style that I want to achieve.
I want to write a story about senior citizens who are a long way from being “over-the-hill”, who encounter mysteries in their lives and solve them as only an old-timer can.
And along the way, explore the humorous side of aging and the challenges of the Golden Years.
I can’t wait to get started.
Chapter 3
I have my characters, Walt, Maggie, Mary, Willie and the Professor.
Now I need a plot, a storyline that will keep the reader involved from cover to cover.
I know I want to make people laugh.
The world is full of sadness and tragedy. When I read a novel, watch a TV show or go to the movies, I want my escape to make me feel good.
In real life, I always try to find the funny side of things and I believe there is an element of humor in almost everything that happens to us.
In my family there is a contest between my son’s father-in-law and me as to who does the goofiest things as we enter our dotage. I was briefly in second place when Jim left his teeth on the counter and a mouse ran off with them. I’m usually in first place if that tells you anything.
I also love mysteries. Along with funny stuff, I enjoy immersing myself in a good who-done-it that makes me think and reason.
In addition to hundreds of crime dramas on TV, I have read and enjoyed Michael Connelly’s Harry Bosch series and Robert Crais’ Elvis Cole series. Both are engaging mysteries with a touch of humor.
I am not into graphic blood and guts and I don’t need gratuitous sex scenes. For me, when I read a story I appreciate it when the author lets me fill in the blanks with my own imagination.
With these things in mind, it’s no coincidence that Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series is a favorite. They combine just the right amount of mystery and humor to keep me reading, laughing and thinking.
So now I know the style that I want to achieve.
I want to write a story about senior citizens who are a long way from being “over-the-hill”, who encounter mysteries in their lives and solve them as only an old-timer can.
And along the way, explore the humorous side of aging and the challenges of the Golden Years.
I can’t wait to get started.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Chapter 2
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
Chapter 2
So how do you start writing a novel when you’ve never written before?
Who are the characters and why are they doing what they’re doing? And most importantly, why would anyone want to read about them?
I started with the characters. I knew I wanted the novel to be based around the lives of senior citizens. I’m 66 years old and there’s a bazillion of us out there who have made it this far and have shared the same life experiences.
How many old dudes have passed a kidney stone or lost their car in a parking lot? How many people have retired only to find themselves bored with life and eventually begin a new chapter in their lives in an entirely new career?
Plenty! I’m doing it myself!
I have some public speaking experience, and one of the basic rules is to talk about something you know about, so when I began to visualize my main character, Walt Williams, the first person that came to mind was me! I know me better than anyone else and I’ve had a great life chock full of goofy experiences. So Walt was born and he and I share many of the adventures portrayed in the book.
I have been a Realtor for 31 years, so Walt has just retired from a 30 year career in real estate.
My wife, Peg, is also a Realtor. We have worked together for 20 years in the business. Walt’s sweetie, Maggie McBride is also a 65 year old Realtor, but not retired yet.
In addition to being a Realtor, I was also a landlord for 25 years and there’s another whole book that could be written about owning rental property. I sold my rental properties as did Walt when he retired.
My supporting characters are also people from my real life. One is Mary Murphy, a 75 year old who manages Walt’s boarding house. Like the Mary in my real life, she rules the Three Trails Hotel with an iron fist, carries a 36 inch baseball bat and doesn’t take crap off of anyone.
Willie Duncan, a 65 year old black dude, is Walt’s maintenance man. Willie is a crusty old guy off the streets with a questionable past, but totally loyal to Walt. His exploits with the ladies add some spice to the story.
Everyone needs a mentor and Walt’s mentor is 85 year old Professor Leopold Skinner, a retired university professor. His wit and wisdom guide Walt and his scruffy cohorts through the book’s plot.
I have my characters, all senior citizens. Now what are they going to do that’s worth writing about?
Chapter 2
So how do you start writing a novel when you’ve never written before?
Who are the characters and why are they doing what they’re doing? And most importantly, why would anyone want to read about them?
I started with the characters. I knew I wanted the novel to be based around the lives of senior citizens. I’m 66 years old and there’s a bazillion of us out there who have made it this far and have shared the same life experiences.
How many old dudes have passed a kidney stone or lost their car in a parking lot? How many people have retired only to find themselves bored with life and eventually begin a new chapter in their lives in an entirely new career?
Plenty! I’m doing it myself!
I have some public speaking experience, and one of the basic rules is to talk about something you know about, so when I began to visualize my main character, Walt Williams, the first person that came to mind was me! I know me better than anyone else and I’ve had a great life chock full of goofy experiences. So Walt was born and he and I share many of the adventures portrayed in the book.
I have been a Realtor for 31 years, so Walt has just retired from a 30 year career in real estate.
My wife, Peg, is also a Realtor. We have worked together for 20 years in the business. Walt’s sweetie, Maggie McBride is also a 65 year old Realtor, but not retired yet.
In addition to being a Realtor, I was also a landlord for 25 years and there’s another whole book that could be written about owning rental property. I sold my rental properties as did Walt when he retired.
My supporting characters are also people from my real life. One is Mary Murphy, a 75 year old who manages Walt’s boarding house. Like the Mary in my real life, she rules the Three Trails Hotel with an iron fist, carries a 36 inch baseball bat and doesn’t take crap off of anyone.
Willie Duncan, a 65 year old black dude, is Walt’s maintenance man. Willie is a crusty old guy off the streets with a questionable past, but totally loyal to Walt. His exploits with the ladies add some spice to the story.
Everyone needs a mentor and Walt’s mentor is 85 year old Professor Leopold Skinner, a retired university professor. His wit and wisdom guide Walt and his scruffy cohorts through the book’s plot.
I have my characters, all senior citizens. Now what are they going to do that’s worth writing about?
Chapter 1
The Tears and Triumphs of a New Author
So what does a 66 year-old, semi-retired realtor do when he is bored?
Write a book, of course!
After 25 years of real estate in Independence, Mo. and 5 years of real estate in Maui, Hawaii, my wife, Peg, and I moved back to Missouri, bought 70 acres in the country and built a log home.
We are still Realtors with Stewart & Kiefer Realtors, the only real estate company in Osceola, Mo, population 835.
After working 2 years on our dream home in the country, and with real estate in general, and in St. Clair County in particular, in the toilet, I found myself bored out of my mind.
I have tried to retire three times but just can’t seem to do it. I have to have something to sink my teeth into ---- something to make me want to get out of bed every morning.
Peg & I are avid readers and we each consume a novel a week.
A friend of ours turned us on to Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. We got the first book and immediately fell in love.
We acquired all 14 books in the series and laughed until our sides hurt.
After finishing book #14, I thought to myself, “Bob, you are just goofy enough to do this.” So I sat down at the computer, pretended I was Janet Evanovich, and began writing the next Stephanie Plum novel using her characters and plot.
I wrote three chapters and printed them for my wife to read. I hid in the office while she read, dreading the verdict.
Soon, I heard her cackling in her easy chair. Now, you have to understand my wife. Even though she has a great sense of humor, she’s not a laugh-out-loud kind of person.
She came into the office and with a stern look said, “ You’ve got to stop this right now! Forget Stephanie Plum. Janet doesn’t need any help. You need to develop your own characters and plot and write your own novel. I know you can do it.”
And so began my journey, writing, publishing and marketing my first novel, Lady Justice Takes a C.R.A.P. City Retiree Action Patrol.
It has been an incredible journey so far and I look forward to sharing my adventure with you.
So what does a 66 year-old, semi-retired realtor do when he is bored?
Write a book, of course!
After 25 years of real estate in Independence, Mo. and 5 years of real estate in Maui, Hawaii, my wife, Peg, and I moved back to Missouri, bought 70 acres in the country and built a log home.
We are still Realtors with Stewart & Kiefer Realtors, the only real estate company in Osceola, Mo, population 835.
After working 2 years on our dream home in the country, and with real estate in general, and in St. Clair County in particular, in the toilet, I found myself bored out of my mind.
I have tried to retire three times but just can’t seem to do it. I have to have something to sink my teeth into ---- something to make me want to get out of bed every morning.
Peg & I are avid readers and we each consume a novel a week.
A friend of ours turned us on to Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. We got the first book and immediately fell in love.
We acquired all 14 books in the series and laughed until our sides hurt.
After finishing book #14, I thought to myself, “Bob, you are just goofy enough to do this.” So I sat down at the computer, pretended I was Janet Evanovich, and began writing the next Stephanie Plum novel using her characters and plot.
I wrote three chapters and printed them for my wife to read. I hid in the office while she read, dreading the verdict.
Soon, I heard her cackling in her easy chair. Now, you have to understand my wife. Even though she has a great sense of humor, she’s not a laugh-out-loud kind of person.
She came into the office and with a stern look said, “ You’ve got to stop this right now! Forget Stephanie Plum. Janet doesn’t need any help. You need to develop your own characters and plot and write your own novel. I know you can do it.”
And so began my journey, writing, publishing and marketing my first novel, Lady Justice Takes a C.R.A.P. City Retiree Action Patrol.
It has been an incredible journey so far and I look forward to sharing my adventure with you.
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